Saturday 1 February 2014

Welcome to ISOF

Capt Price: right lads. This is your acclimatisation briefing on joining ISOF. First things first, you all got a brew? Right. On with the show. Soap. SOAP! Get off that bloody X-Box and get in HERE!
Soap: Sorry Boss. I was at this really ally bit, beaten my high score and..........you need to open PowerPoint first Boss.....oh, didn't you save it? If you press alt, ctrl and delete. Oh....

 Price: Fine. I'll do it from memory.Welcome to ISOF - International Support and Observation Force, based here at FOB CRIMEA in sunny Hav. Formed this year when the mentoring mandate from the UN expired but it was quite clear that internal Slavikovan tensions remained a threat to regional security and that Hav and it's neighbours need assistance. Our role is to train and support the Hav intelligence community, their military and Special Forces, to observe Slavikovan military activities and to act to enable local elements.Is that clear?

 All: muttering and slurps of tea and coffee

 Price: So that's a yes then. Local players. Slavikovan spetsnatz, mafia funded ultra nationalists, nationalists, moderate militarists, extremist modernists, old school communists and kzarist monarchist revanchists. Our lads are the Hav military, their Narco Interventura, Grenzjager special forces, police and somewhere out there is Hav organised crime who are playing their own bloody game.

 Our assets. Headshed is me and Soap. Ops room is Box from 6, QMS Bob and the Scaleys. The Green Slime lives in the basement and is let out if he's been a good boy.

 Red Team is Gaz, Baz, Chaz and Daz. You lot are Blue team. Joern, Ron, Piotr and Leif are Zulu team.

 You've seen the helos and vehicles on the strip and we have access to some really warry air kit, JTAC etc as long as its not needed elsewhere. Ron, keep in touch with your old firm, in case.

 One last thing. We DO NOT operate ATR - Across The River. Never. That's official so it must be true. Right off you go and here, pass 'em around - maps of ATR.

 All: scuffle of chairs, rumble of boots, stampede to exits

 Price: Bloody IT. Bloody Soap. Bloody Xbox.

 Further reports to follow as soon as Capt P has overcome his IT difficulties and dragged Soap away from his Xbox

 Cheers Maff

4 comments:

  1. So.....no jaunts ATR then....rightio, Boss ;-)

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  2. Thank you for your support there Cake Tin; there is of course some doubt as to the exact definition of across the river. Some parts of across the river are actually on this side of the river and the river itself has so many smaller rivers flowing into that it is challenging to know exactly when you have crossed the river.....

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  3. This reminds me of British Army briefs I sat in and understood about one word in three but still tracked the gist of it. Something Churchill said about two nations separated by a common language. And I'm a Canuck, not a bloody Yank.
    Looking forward to more of this. Righto, time for tea and scoff.

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